Tuesday, January 1, 2008


Today is obviously the first day of the new year.  I don't tend to think of this as anything very special as a rule.  I feel as if it is just another day, but this year for some reason it seems to be trying to be something more.

I'm not sure why, perhaps it has something to do with how my past year went.  It was sometimes okay, I mean there was some good things about it.  All of my family got through it pretty much unscathed.  My pets are both okay and thriving.  We started a new aquarium  and it is good so far.  I enjoyed spending the year singing with the Jazz Ensemble at the local college, even though every day there was a big fat hairy reminder of just how damned old I'm getting.  

We went to lots of fancy restaurants, ate lots of fancy food.  I had surgery that went well and Bob seems to be in good health, at least he seems to be, as far as we know.  And to be perfectly honest well, we really don't know.  So, we assume that all is well, it feels good.  

But this past year was also a year of sadness, it was a year in which no matter how hard I tried or how hard she tried to deny that it was coming, my best friend Stephanie lost her long battle with cancer and left us. 

It's been particularly difficult for me because aside from losing my best friend I also had to deal with the fact that her family took her away just before she died.  They took her to be with them and to make it easier for them to care for her.  They thought nothing about the friends that she was leaving behind.  They thought nothing about the fact that there were people here that loved her and that she loved.  As much as she denied that she wanted to be there or needed them, in the end they were her familly and she called them to come and get her to take her home, even while she continued to pretend to believe that she was going to live and she would be back.  We all knew better.  It's been hard, very very hard, harder I think because I never got to say goodbye.  She just moved away and then was no more and I miss her.  I sometimes wonder if she really is gone.  I have no proof.

The new year will hopefully be good.  I plan to continue to sing at school and feel old  I plan to continue to be in good health and I also plan for Bob to be healthy.  I  plan to continue to eat lots of fancy food in fancy restaurants. 

And........I plan to find a new friend this year.  I plan to find them, I wonder if they are planning to find me?